Do you still have to qualify if you already know the parents?
Yes. You become a surrogate for a friend or family member the same way you would for intended parents you have never met. The requirements do not change because you know each other.
You must meet the same surrogate requirements:
- Age 21 to 43.
- A BMI under 33.
- At least one healthy full-term pregnancy, and currently parenting your own child.
- No government assistance.
- Non-smoker and non-vaper, with no drug use, including cannabis.
- A stable home with a support system.
You also go through the same screening steps. Mark Silverberg, DDS, MD, reads your prenatal and delivery records and writes a physician medical summary for the clinic. You complete an independent psychological evaluation and a background check, and PLS reviews your health insurance. Then you sign a contract, with your own attorney.
The one difference is matching, and it is already done. In an agency journey, matching takes about six months today. In a known journey, you and the parents have already chosen each other. That removes the longest wait, but none of the safeguards.
The safeguards exist for the same reasons they always do. A clinic will not transfer to a carrier whose history makes the pregnancy unsafe for her, however much she wants to help. The rules protect you as much as they protect the people you are carrying for.
Can you carry for your sister, brother or cousin?
Yes. Carrying for a sibling or a sibling-in-law is common. So is carrying for a cousin or a close friend.
For a sister. You carry an embryo made from her egg, or a donor's egg, and her partner's sperm or donor sperm.
For a brother and his husband, or a brother and his wife who cannot use her own eggs. The egg comes from a donor, never from you. PLS can arrange an egg donor match. An egg donation match is $11,000, or $8,500 when combined with a PLS surrogacy journey.
Carrying for a sibling or sibling-in-law is legal in Illinois under the Illinois Gestational Surrogacy Act, which covers gestational surrogacy only. Statute details are pending review by counsel. If you live outside Illinois, the law of your own state applies to your agreement.
Does carrying for family mean carrying your own genetic relative?
Not as the genetic mother. PLS works only in gestational surrogacy. The embryo is made by IVF from the intended mother's egg or a donor's egg, and it is transferred to your uterus. Your own egg is never used.
PLS does not offer traditional surrogacy, in which the surrogate's own egg is used, including for a sibling.
That keeps the relationships clear. If you carry for your sister using her egg, the baby is your niece or nephew, related to you exactly as any child your sister has. If you carry for your brother using a donor's egg, the same is true: the baby is his child, and you are the aunt. You carried the pregnancy. You are not the baby's mother, genetically or legally.
How is compensation handled between friends and family?
Compensation is your decision, made with the intended parents. Many family surrogates carry for expenses only. Friends often agree on partial or full compensation. There is no right answer, only one you both agree on in writing.
Whatever you agree, two rules apply:
- It goes in the contract. Compensation, or the decision not to have it, is written into your gestational carrier agreement.
- It is paid through escrow. Any compensation and every reimbursement is paid through an independent licensed escrow agent, not handed over between family members.
Expenses-only does not mean you pay your own costs. The intended parents still cover the medical costs of the pregnancy, both attorneys, the escrow, the screening and the insurance review. Agreements usually also reimburse lost wages for you and your partner. If your health plan excludes surrogacy, they fund a surrogacy-friendly policy, which can cost them $5,000 to $40,000.
For reference, PLS's agency surrogates receive a full package. First-time base compensation is $60,000, and experienced surrogates receive $65,000 to $70,000; the typical total package is roughly $68,000 to $78,000. See independent versus agency surrogacy compensation.
Why you still need separate attorneys and escrow
Because your interests are not the same, even when you love each other.
Separate attorneys. You and the intended parents each retain your own attorney, and the intended parents pay for both. Your attorney represents you alone. Their job is to make sure the agreement protects your health, your medical decisions, your compensation or reimbursements, and your family. The Equality for Every Family Act, signed in Illinois in December 2025, requires independent counsel for both the surrogate and the intended parents. Statute details are pending review by counsel. See the surrogate legal contract.
Independent escrow. The intended parents fund an independent licensed escrow agent, $10,000 at match and the balance before medications start, and they may choose their own escrow company. Escrow keeps money out of the relationship. You never have to ask your sister for a reimbursement, and she never has to wonder what she still owes. Every payment is on the record for taxes. PLS has always used independent licensed escrow.
The agreement also covers the conversations that are hardest to have across a kitchen table: what happens if a transfer fails, decisions about a non-viable pregnancy, and who is in the delivery room.
What PLS Cycle Management covers and costs
Cycle Management is PLS's program for journeys where the intended parents bring their own surrogate. It handles known surrogate journeys, coordinating:
- Screening. The records review by Dr. Silverberg, the independent psychological evaluation, the background check and the insurance review.
- Legal. Referral to independent attorneys for each side.
- Escrow. Setup with an independent licensed escrow agent.
- The clinic. Coordination with the intended parents' fertility clinic through the medical cycle.
The Cycle Management fee is $15,000, or $12,500 for active-duty military. The intended parents pay it.
| Agency match | Known surrogate with PLS Cycle Management | Fully independent journey | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Screening | Full PLS screening, including records review | Full PLS screening, including records review | Arranged by the parents and the clinic |
| Legal | Separate attorneys, paid by the parents | Separate attorneys, paid by the parents | Separate attorneys, arranged by the parties |
| Escrow | Independent licensed escrow | Independent licensed escrow | Depends on what the parties arrange |
| Compensation | Full PLS package | Agreed between you, paid through escrow | Agreed between you |
| PLS fee | Program fee $47,500 | $15,000; $12,500 for active-duty military | None |
| Who coordinates the clinic | PLS | PLS | The parents and the surrogate |
Protecting the relationship: the psychological evaluation for known matches
Friends and family still complete the independent psychological evaluation, with a licensed professional who does not work for PLS. Known matches get a joint session as well. It focuses on expectations, and on how the relationship survives a hard outcome.
The session covers questions that are easy to skip when you already love each other:
- What role will you have in the child's life, and what will the child be told?
- How often will you be in touch during the pregnancy, and who decides?
- What happens to the relationship if a transfer fails, or a pregnancy is lost?
- How will you handle a disagreement about a medical decision?
- How do your own children and partner feel about it?
None of these has a wrong answer. What matters is that you have asked them before the first appointment. The evaluator's job is to make sure each of you is choosing this freely, without pressure from family loyalty or obligation.
Nancy Block, RN, PLS's founder, is a former President of SEEDS, the Society for Ethics in Egg Donation and Surrogacy, and has made more than 2,500 matches over her career. Known journeys get the same standard as every other.
If you are thinking of carrying for someone you know, start at See if I qualify to confirm you meet the requirements. If you are the intended parents, start at Plan my journey. Read how to become a surrogate for every step in order.
Sources
- ASRM (American Society for Reproductive Medicine), recommendations for practices using gestational carriers, including known carriers. asrm.org
- SEEDS (Society for Ethics in Egg Donation and Surrogacy), of which Nancy Block, RN, is a former President.
- Illinois Gestational Surrogacy Act (2005) and Equality for Every Family Act (2025). Pending review by counsel.