Where do gay couples find egg donors?
Two dads find egg donors in the same four places as any intended parent. What changes is which source fits your plan for whose sperm to use.
- Egg donor agencies. The largest pools, with the most choice on ancestry, height, education and other traits. A first-time donor may have little screening done before her profile goes live, so ask what is complete.
- Fertility clinic donor programs. Smaller, more local pools, usually pre-screened before listing.
- Known donors. A relative or friend donates for you. For two dads, this is often a sister or cousin of the partner who will not provide sperm.
- Frozen egg banks. You buy a set number of frozen eggs from a donor who has already cycled. Faster, but you get a fixed lot, not her whole cycle.
Donors state at intake which family types they are open to. A match with a same-sex couple is always with a donor who agreed to it. PLS runs egg donor matching as well as surrogacy, so your donor search and your surrogate search are planned together.
What are the ten criteria to weigh?
PLS uses the same ten criteria for every family. The first seven affect the chance of a healthy embryo and a healthy child. The last three are personal. The full explanation of each is on how to choose an egg donor. This table adds what each one means for two dads.
| # | Criterion | Typical range or standard | Why it matters for two dads |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Age | 21 to 30 at PLS | Younger eggs mean more normal embryos to divide between two fathers |
| 2 | BMI | Healthy, height and weight in proportion (typically BMI 18 to 27) | Affects how she responds to stimulation, and so how many eggs you have to split |
| 3 | Personal health history | Non-smoker, no illegal drug use, appropriate FDA questionnaire answers | Same standard for every family |
| 4 | Family health history | Relatively free of major disease, especially in first-degree relatives | She is the only genetic mother your children will have |
| 5 | Proven fertility | A prior healthy pregnancy or prior donor cycle results; preferred, not required | A proven egg yield helps you plan whether a split cycle will give both fathers enough embryos |
| 6 | Genetic carrier screening | Same or a similar panel as the sperm provider | In a split cycle, her report is compared with both fathers' reports, not one |
| 7 | Psychological evaluation | Understands what donation involves and its long-term meaning | Same standard for every family |
| 8 | Physical characteristics | Height, weight, hair and eye color | Some couples look for a resemblance to the non-genetic father |
| 9 | Personal traits | Ethnicity, education, interests | Some couples look for the non-genetic father's ancestry |
| 10 | Compensation | From $10,000 at PLS, set per match | Same for any family; known donors may waive it |
If a donor fails on one of the first seven, keep looking, however close she is on the last three.
Should the donor resemble the non-genetic dad?
That is your choice. Medical and genetic criteria affect the outcome. Appearance does not.
Some two-dad couples choose a donor who shares the non-genetic father's coloring, height or ancestry, so a child may look like both of you. Others do not weigh resemblance at all.
Two suggestions:
- Agree on your top three traits before you browse. It keeps you from passing over a strong medical match for a detail neither of you would miss later.
- Think about the long term. If you choose an identity-release or known donor, your child may meet her one day. Her values and personality may matter more to you then than her hair color.
If you plan a split cycle, the same donor serves both fathers. Your children will share a genetic mother, which many two-dad families value.
Should we use a relative of one partner as a known donor?
It is a common choice for two dads. If the sister or cousin of one partner donates eggs and the other partner provides sperm, both families are represented genetically in your child.
It works when everyone goes in with clear expectations. A known donor still needs:
- FDA screening, including infectious disease testing close to the retrieval.
- A psychological consult for her, and counseling for you, about roles in your child's life, what your child will be told, and how family events will feel.
- Her own independent attorney and a written donor agreement.
- Genetic carrier screening matched to the father providing sperm. A relative of one partner is not related to the other, so this is the usual carrier comparison.
Compensation is optional for a known donor. The clinic, legal and screening costs still apply.
Your relative's age matters as much as any other donor's. Many clinics set an upper age limit for known donors. Ask your clinic early. For how the three donor arrangements compare in legal work and what your child can learn later, see known vs anonymous vs identity-release donors.
Fresh, frozen or bank eggs: what works best for a split cycle?
A split cycle divides one donor's eggs between both fathers. The more eggs you start with, the more embryos each father ends up with. That makes the source of eggs a bigger decision for two dads than for most couples.
Fresh agency or clinic cycle. The donor goes through stimulation for you, and you receive all the eggs from her retrieval. A fresh cycle usually gives more eggs, which suits a split cycle best.
Frozen bank eggs. Faster and cheaper per batch, but a bank lot is a fixed number of eggs, and thawed eggs yield fewer embryos. Divided between two fathers, a single lot may leave each with only one or two embryos. Some couples buy two lots, or use bank eggs for one father only.
If you want two or more children from each father, ask your clinic how many eggs it expects from your donor, and whether a second retrieval might be needed. The full comparison is on fresh vs frozen vs egg bank. For the options on whose sperm to use, see whose sperm is used in gay surrogacy.
What screening must be complete before retrieval?
Before the donor starts stimulation medications, her file should show:
- FDA donor eligibility screening. Her questionnaire and infectious disease test results, timed close to the retrieval. A result from a past cycle does not cover yours.
- Genetic carrier screening, compared with both fathers' reports if you plan a split cycle, and reviewed by a genetic counselor.
- The clinic's medical screen. Exam, bloodwork and ultrasound, which suggest how her ovaries will respond.
- A psychological evaluation by a licensed mental health professional.
- A signed donor agreement, with an independent attorney for her and one for you.
Both fathers complete their own semen analysis, infectious disease testing and carrier screening before the retrieval too.
What does PLS do during donor selection?
Nancy Block, RN, runs matching herself and meets every new intended parent. She founded The Center for Egg Options Illinois in 2000 and ran its egg donation and surrogacy matching for 15 years before founding PLS in 2017. PLS is relaunching its egg donation program under the name PLS Egg Donation. Here is what PLS does:
- Sets criteria with you, including whose sperm you plan to use and whether a split cycle fits your family plan.
- Reviews files before you see them. Mark Silverberg, DDS, MD, reads the medical records in each donor file.
- Tells you what is complete and what is pending for each donor on your shortlist.
- Coordinates carrier screening so the donor and both fathers are tested on matching panels.
- Keeps your shortlist moving. If a donor falls through, PLS brings the next one forward.
Donor compensation is paid through an independent licensed escrow agent after retrieval, and the PLS egg donor coordinator is the donor's point of contact. The PLS Egg Donation program fee is $11,000 ($1,500 at donor reservation, $9,500 on invoice), or $8,500 when combined with a PLS surrogacy journey.
Sources
- American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM), guidance on gamete donor screening.
- US Food and Drug Administration (FDA), donor eligibility rules (21 CFR Part 1271).
- SEEDS, Society for Ethics in Egg Donation and Surrogacy.
- Private Label Surrogacy, "Advice from PLS: 10 Considerations When Choosing Your Egg Donor."