What has to happen before you can match with a surrogate?
Two things: you sign with an agency, and you have a plan for embryos. Surrogacy for two dads runs in six steps, and the first two set up everything after them.
| Step | What happens | Typical duration | Who is responsible |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1. Sign and fund escrow | Consultation, PLS agreement, independent escrow account opened | A few weeks | Parents, PLS, escrow agent |
| 2. Egg donor and testing | Donor match; sperm testing and FDA-required infectious disease screening | Runs in parallel with matching | Parents, clinic, PLS |
| 3. Embryo creation | IVF with the donor's eggs; PGT-A testing of each blastocyst; freezing | One or more IVF cycles, set by the clinic | Clinic, parents |
| 4. Surrogate match and agreement | Introduction, mutual acceptance, independent attorneys, signed agreement | About 6 months to match; 1 to 2 months for legal and medical foundations | PLS, attorneys, escrow agent |
| 5. Transfer cycle and pregnancy | Surrogate's medications, frozen embryo transfer, pregnancy test 9 to 11 days later | 2 to 3 months, then the pregnancy | Clinic, surrogate, PLS |
| 6. Parentage and birth | Pre-birth parentage order naming both fathers; birth plan; delivery | During the pregnancy and at birth | Attorneys, hospital, PLS |
| Whole journey | 18 to 24 months |
Step 1: Sign and fund escrow. You meet with Nancy Block, RN, who founded Private Label Surrogacy in 2017 and personally runs matching. You talk through your family plan, your clinic, your budget and your timeline. When you sign, you also set up an independent licensed escrow account. PLS never holds your money. You fund $10,000 at match and the balance before the surrogate starts medications, and you may choose your own escrow company.
Step 2: Egg donor and testing. You choose an egg donor, and both of you complete sperm testing and the FDA-required infectious disease screening at your clinic. PLS runs egg donor matching as well as surrogacy, so the two searches are planned together.
You do not have to wait for embryos before PLS starts looking for a surrogate. PLS can match you while your egg donor cycle is underway. Most clinics, though, want tested embryos ready before a surrogate starts medications.
How are the embryos created, and who provides the sperm?
Your clinic stimulates the egg donor's ovaries, retrieves her eggs and fertilizes them by IVF. The embryos grow for several days to the blastocyst stage. Most clinics then perform PGT-A, a genetic test of a few cells from each blastocyst, before freezing. Frozen, tested embryos are what the surrogate's transfer cycle will use.
Each embryo has one genetic father. You choose how to divide that:
- One father provides sperm for all embryos. The simplest plan, and often the choice when a couple expects to use the other father's sperm for a second child.
- Split the eggs. Half the donor's eggs are fertilized with each partner's sperm. You end up with embryos from both fathers in storage, and siblings who share the same egg donor.
- Transfer one embryo from each father. Some clinics agree to this in one transfer. It increases the chance of twins, so the clinic, you and the surrogate must all agree to it in advance.
Known or anonymous donor? Either works. Many two-dad couples choose a relative of the non-genetic father, such as his sister, so the child is related to both fathers. A known donor completes FDA screening, a psychological consult and has her own attorney. See choosing an egg donor and, for help with the sperm decision, whose sperm to use.
How does matching with a surrogate work for gay couples?
Matching at PLS takes about 6 months today, measured from when you are ready to be matched. From signing to surrogate introduction is about 9 months, and PLS's target is 6 months or fewer.
Nancy makes each introduction herself. She has worked in egg donation and surrogacy matching since 2000. Before you meet anyone, three things have already happened:
- The surrogate has said yes to two dads. Every PLS surrogate is asked at intake whether she is open to same-sex couples. You are introduced only to surrogates who have said yes.
- A physician has read her records. Mark Silverberg, DDS, MD, PLS's Executive Director, reads every candidate's prenatal and delivery records and writes a physician medical summary that goes to your clinic.
- She has been screened. Application, interview, background check, insurance review and a psychological evaluation by an independent licensed professional. Your clinic then completes her medical screening.
You talk with the surrogate, and both sides decide. If either side says no, Nancy keeps looking. If both say yes, you are matched and the legal work begins.
What legal documents do two dads sign?
The main document is the gestational carrier agreement, signed by both fathers and the surrogate. It sets out:
- Her compensation, allowances and expenses
- Health insurance and life insurance
- How medical decisions are made during the pregnancy
- How many embryos may be transferred, usually one
- What happens if a transfer fails or a pregnancy is lost
- How the escrow account pays out
Each side has its own attorney. PLS does not employ attorneys and refers you to independent reproductive-law attorneys. You pay for both attorneys. Illinois law, as amended by the Equality for Every Family Act in December 2025, requires independent counsel for both sides. Statute details are reviewed by counsel.
You also sign the escrow agreement with your escrow agent. If you use a known egg donor, she signs a separate donor agreement with her own attorney.
Does the surrogate choose which embryo is transferred? No. Embryo selection is between you and your clinic. The surrogate agrees, in the agreement, to the number of embryos transferred.
Nothing medical starts until the agreement is signed and escrow is funded.
What happens during the transfer cycle and pregnancy?
The surrogate's medical cycle takes 2 to 3 months. She takes medications to prepare her uterus, does monitoring bloodwork and ultrasounds at a clinic near home, then travels to your clinic for the frozen embryo transfer. You can attend if your clinic allows it. The pregnancy test is 9 to 11 days after transfer.
If the test is positive, your clinic follows the early pregnancy until it releases her to her own obstetric care. Through the pregnancy:
- Her case manager, Natalie Gaudio-Fricano or Jenni Symons, both former surrogates, stays in regular contact with her and with you.
- Julie Bendix, MPH, RD, LD, CLC, a registered dietitian and lactation counselor, holds at least six nutrition consults with her across the journey.
- Escrow pays her according to the agreement, from the account you funded before medications started.
How much contact you have with your surrogate is agreed at match, so both sides know what to expect.
How does birth and parentage work for both fathers?
In Illinois, your attorneys file the paperwork for pre-birth parentage during the pregnancy, so that both fathers are named as legal parents and on the original birth certificate. Since the Equality for Every Family Act, the non-genetic father's parentage under Illinois law does not depend on a genetic link. Statute details are reviewed by counsel.
Many attorneys also recommend a confirmatory adoption or judgment for the non-genetic father, because a court judgment is honored in every state and abroad. Your attorney advises on that.
PLS writes a birth plan with the delivering hospital before labor begins. It names you as the parents and covers who is in the delivery room, who holds the baby first and how discharge will work. Who attends the birth is agreed between you and the surrogate; most PLS surrogates welcome both fathers.
What does PLS do at each step?
| Step | What PLS does |
|---|---|
| 1. Sign and fund escrow | Nancy's consultation and plan; referral to independent escrow agents |
| 2. Egg donor | Egg donor matching, planned alongside your surrogate search |
| 3. Embryos | Coordination with your clinic so embryos are ready before transfer |
| 4. Match | Surrogate screening, Dr. Silverberg's records review, Nancy's introduction, attorney referrals |
| 5. Transfer and pregnancy | Case management, nutrition consults, travel coordination, escrow oversight |
| 6. Birth | Birth plan with the hospital; coordination with both attorneys |
What PLS does not do is hold your money, employ your attorney or employ the psychologist who evaluates your surrogate. Those stay independent on purpose, so each professional answers to the person they serve.
For the bigger picture, including cost and legal options, see gay surrogacy and LGBTQ+ family building. For how escrow protects you, see escrow.
Sources
- Illinois Gestational Surrogacy Act (2005), Illinois General Assembly. Pending review by counsel.
- Equality for Every Family Act, signed December 2025, Illinois General Assembly. Pending review by counsel.
- US Food and Drug Administration, donor eligibility and infectious disease screening requirements.