What should you bring and when should you arrive?
Plan to be within a short drive of the hospital in the final weeks of the pregnancy. Labor can start early, and some labors move fast. If you are flying in, talk with your surrogate and her OB about timing, and leave room for the baby to arrive before the due date.
Bring:
- Your documents. Photo ID for each parent, a copy of the pre-birth parentage paperwork and a copy of the birth plan. The hospital should already have both, but bring your own.
- The newborn's insurance details. Add the baby to your health plan as soon as the plan allows, and know the steps before delivery.
- Your pediatrician's name and number. Choose the pediatrician before the birth. If you live far away, ask the hospital which pediatricians see newborns there.
- A rear-facing infant car seat, installed in the car you will leave in. Hospitals will not discharge a baby without one.
- Supplies for the baby: clothes for going home, a blanket, diapers and formula if the hospital does not supply them.
- Something for the surrogate. Not required, and not expected, but many parents bring a card or a small gift.
When labor starts, the surrogate or her partner calls you and your PLS case manager. Go when she asks you to. Some surrogates want parents there from early labor. Others want privacy until close to delivery. The birth plan says which.
What happens in the hours after birth?
The delivery team checks the baby first. Then, as the birth plan sets out, the baby is handed to you or placed with you. Many parents hold their baby skin to skin within minutes.
In the first hours:
- The newborn is weighed and measured and receives routine newborn care.
- You make the decisions about the baby's care from birth.
- The surrogate's team cares for her: delivering the placenta, monitoring bleeding, and recovery.
- If she wishes, she sees or holds the baby. This is agreed in the birth plan. Most PLS surrogates choose to.
The pediatrician sees the baby within 24 hours.
Where does the baby stay, and where does the surrogate stay?
The baby stays with you. The surrogate recovers in her own room.
Whenever possible, the hospital gives you and your baby a separate room. That depends on availability, so ask during pre-birth contact with the hospital, and ask again at admission. If no room is free, ask the hospital how it will keep you close to your baby.
Separate rooms give each of you what you need. You can learn to feed and change your baby. She can rest and recover with her own family around her. Most surrogates welcome visits from you and the baby while she is in hospital. Ask her.
How are the birth certificate and parentage handled at the hospital?
Before you leave, the hospital asks for the information that goes on the birth certificate. You complete it as the baby's parents.
When a pre-birth parentage order or certification has been filed, as Illinois law allows, the intended parents are named on the original birth certificate and the surrogate has no parental rights or obligations. No adoption follows. Reviewed by counsel. See the pre-birth order.
If anyone at the hospital is unsure how to complete the forms, call your attorney and your case manager before you sign anything.
How long is the hospital stay and what does discharge require?
A typical stay is 1 to 2 days after a vaginal birth and 2 to 4 days after a cesarean. Confirm with Dr. Silverberg. The surrogate and the baby may be discharged on different days.
| Stage | What happens | Responsible party |
|---|---|---|
| Before arrival | Pre-birth paperwork and birth plan filed with the hospital; pediatrician chosen; newborn insurance arranged; car seat installed | Attorneys and case manager; intended parents |
| At birth | Baby checked, then handed to or placed with you; surrogate cared for by her team | Delivery team |
| Day 1 | Separate room requested; pediatrician exam within 24 hours; birth certificate information completed | Hospital; intended parents |
| Discharge | Car seat check; newborn insurance confirmed; follow-up pediatric visit booked | Intended parents; hospital |
Discharge for the baby usually requires a pediatric exam, a car seat, and a follow-up visit with a pediatrician a few days later. Travel home is usually possible 3 to 7 days after birth; international parents wait for passport documents. Confirm with Dr. Silverberg. See bringing your baby home.
What if the hospital staff are unfamiliar with surrogacy?
It happens, especially at smaller hospitals or with a night shift that has not read the file. Staff may address the surrogate as the mother or bring the baby to her room.
Three things prevent most problems:
- Contact before the birth. Your case manager reaches the hospital's social work or legal office in advance, and that office flags the chart.
- Copies everywhere. You, the surrogate and the case manager each carry the paperwork and the birth plan.
- One calm phone call. If something goes wrong, call your case manager. She talks to the charge nurse or the social worker so you do not have to argue at the bedside.
What does the surrogate need from you in the first days?
She has just given birth. She needs rest, recovery and respect.
- Your thanks, in person. A visit with the baby, if she wants one.
- Clear plans. Tell her when you are leaving the hospital and when you are going home.
- Follow-through on pumping, if you agreed she would pump breast milk. Arrange supplies and shipping before she leaves.
- Space. Her own children and partner need her too.
She also has contractual support after birth: her final payments, recovery support and lost wages during recovery, all paid from escrow. For how her coverage is checked before match, see surrogate health insurance.
The days after birth set the tone for what follows. See your relationship after birth.
Sources
- ACOG (American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists), guidance on postpartum care and hospital stays. https://www.acog.org
- Illinois Gestational Surrogacy Act (2005), on parentage at birth. Pending review by counsel.