Do you have to be married to be a surrogate?
No. You do not have to be married or partnered to be a surrogate with Private Label Surrogacy. Single mothers qualify on the same terms as married ones.
What PLS requires is a stable home and a named support system. That requirement applies to every surrogate, married or not. A spouse is one way to meet it. A parent, a sibling or a close friend is another.
The rest of the surrogate requirements are the same for everyone: age 21 to 43, a BMI under 33, at least one healthy full-term pregnancy, currently parenting your own child, no government assistance, and a non-smoking, drug-free home. Compensation does not depend on marital status either. A single surrogate receives the same package as a married one.
What 'stable support system' means in practice
It means specific help, from specific people, at specific times. A surrogate pregnancy has a few stretches where you cannot do everything alone:
- Monitoring appointments. In the weeks before and after transfer, you go to local appointments for bloodwork and ultrasounds. Someone may need to drive you or watch your children.
- The transfer. You travel to the intended parents' clinic for the embryo transfer and rest afterward. Someone needs to cover your home while you are away.
- The two-week wait. The pregnancy test comes 9 to 11 days after transfer. It helps to have someone on call during that wait.
- Delivery and recovery. Someone needs to care for your children while you are in the hospital and help at home while you recover.
None of this needs a partner. It needs a plan, with names in it.
Who is your support person and what do they do?
Single surrogates name a support person at screening. Most often it is a parent, a sibling or a close friend.
Your support person:
- Helps with the practical stretches above: driving, child care, being on call.
- May be asked to join part of the independent psychological evaluation, so the evaluator can hear how the plan works from their side. See the psychological evaluation.
Choose someone who knows what you are taking on and has agreed to it. A support person who learns about the journey at the transfer is not much support. Read more on partners and family in a surrogacy journey.
How single status changes the legal and screening steps
Being single simplifies one legal step. A married surrogate's spouse must also sign the contract and be screened for infectious disease. A single surrogate signs alone.
The spouse signs because, in many states, a married woman's spouse is presumed to be a legal parent of a child she gives birth to, and the contract and parentage order need to address that.
A live-in partner falls in between. If you are not married but someone lives with you, they join the psychological evaluation, the background check and infectious disease screening. A partner who does not live with you usually does not.
| Step | Married: your spouse | Partnered, living together: your partner | Single: your support person |
|---|---|---|---|
| Background check | Yes | Yes | Only if they live in your home |
| Psychological evaluation | Joins part of it | Joins part of it | May be asked to join part of it |
| Infectious disease screen | Yes | Yes | No |
| Contract | Signs the agreement | Does not sign, unless state law or the clinic requires it | Not a party to the agreement |
PLS runs a background check on every adult in your household. See the background check.
Does being single affect matching?
For most intended parents, no. They are looking for a healthy, prepared surrogate with a clear plan for support, and a single mother with a strong support person meets that. Nancy Block, RN, PLS's founder, runs matching herself and presents your full profile, including who supports you and how.
Dating and new relationships during a journey
You can date during a surrogacy journey. Your personal life is your own.
Two things to know. First, gestational carrier agreements restrict unprotected intercourse during the medical cycle and early pregnancy. The reason is medical: the medications prepare your body for pregnancy, and a natural conception in the same cycle as the transfer is possible. Your case manager and the clinic explain the exact window.
Second, if a new partner moves in, tell your case manager. Every adult in your household goes through a background check, and a new adult in your home is part of the stable-home picture.
If you are single, raising your children with a support system you trust, and meet the other requirements, start at See if I qualify.
Sources
- ASRM (American Society for Reproductive Medicine), recommendations for practices using gestational carriers, including psychological evaluation. asrm.org
- SEEDS (Society for Ethics in Egg Donation and Surrogacy), of which Nancy Block, RN, is a former President.